Thu, 08 April 2010 21:11:31 ET
© AXELLE WOUSSEN/Bauer-Griffin
Although she is hopeful her pain over the actor's death will ease eventually, Lisa Niemi admits that her grief feels like she has been set on fire.
's widow says her grief over his death feels like she has been set on fire. Lisa Niemi admits she is still struggling to come to terms with life without the actor, who died of cancer aged 57 last September, but is hopeful her pain will ease eventually.
"I have a myriad of feelings," she said. "Some are extreme, some are a general malaise, sometimes it's like someone has poured gasoline on me and set me on fire. I just have to have faith that one day it will turn around."
Despite her sorrow, 53-year-old Lisa, who was married to the "Dirty Dancing" star for 34 years, believes she will find love again one day. She added, "It's hard to imagine but I hope at some point. I hope I'm not one of those widows who never has another relationship. This thing has tested my faith and belief. I've learnt that life isn't fair."
Lisa and Patrick never had children together but the actress is still hopeful she will raise a family one day. She told The Times newspaper, "Having children was one of my goals. I don't know why it didn't work out. We should probably have had it investigated by fertility doctors but we didn't."
"Still I question the future, whether I want to adopt. Other single people do and I've always wanted children, but I'm not making any major decisions for quite a while."
: Patrick Swayze
More Patrick Swayze News